Another Dream

This one was bad. It won't sound bad, but the feeling it has left me with is decidedly unpleasant. I'm having some big problems at work - they are, in short, trying to overwork me until I cave in and quit, which I won't do - and sometimes it is so blatant. New boss wants all his own people. So, maybe it's the rejection that is causing me to let everything out in dreams:

I've remarried my ex-husband. That, if you only knew, is god-awful. It is evidently the symbol in my mind of misery and calamity. His whole family is at our house.

I just remembered. The previous scenes, I am playing with our pet male lion. He is beautiful, and loving - but in the back of my head I'm realizing I have to be careful - one mood change and I'm lunch.

Anyway - my ex's entire unpleasant entourage of a family come over. In my dream, some of them are recognizable and others are not - they are gypsy like, nasty and make themselves right at home. Open the fridge, take bottles of wine, drink themselves silly, etc. I hate them and their behavior. I want my ex to make his family go away, but he joins with them in condemning me for not accepting him and his whole pack. I finally let my ex know I don't love him. I love Joe, the man in my life now (my present beloved husband). My ex is shocked and hurt at my betrayal. The whole family REALLY hates me now - they did before, but now they're actively disapproving. I finally tell them all to "get out". I don't care anymore that I can't please them, that no matter what I do, I am not accepted by them. I tell them I'll call the police if they don't all leave. I'm holding my breath, looking forward to solitude, knowing that when they leave, I will be at peace. They do leave, but come back a few times - after all, the lock hasn't been changed yet.

Then, I try to call Joe. But the phone doesn't work right. I have to call weird numbers. I'm afraid I don't have his phone number right. I realize it's been a long time since I've seen him. Perhaps my remarriage of my ex will have made him find someone else. I run out into the parking lot to find my car - I'll just drive over there. But my ex's family took my car.

Finally, my husband's voice woke me up "It's time to get up" - to go to work. The feeling of utter relief when I heard his voice was unbelievable.

I guess all my anxiety and hurt about my work situation is being channelled into dreams at night about the most vulnerable time in my life - when I was unhappily married and then first divorced.

Sheesh.