Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Johnny Cash - The Movie

Well, I finally went to see "Walk the Line" - and thought both J. Phoenix and R. Witherspoon did a wonderful job. I've always admired Johnny Cash and his wife, June - so it was a no brainer that I'd see the movie.

I used it to deflect all the negative thoughts I've been having at work. I have good reason to have negative thoughts, but that doesn't make it right or good for me. So, when I went to lunch today, I decided that I couldn't continue on mentally as I have. Since I'm training a new person to take my place, which means I have to sit next to and work intimately with, the very people who have humiliated me and intend to get rid of me, once my brain is picked, I needed some inspiration. Tell me this isn't a tough position to be in. Every little laugh by one of my enemies, every triumph of theirs was like a giant thorn in my side. I'd start to think maybe they were right about me - I'm getting what I deserve. Or, why hasn't something like justice happened here? All these type thoughts are just deadly. They serve no earthly good - and they make me miserable. Sooooooo
after lunch, I kept on praying all the time for the Lord to help me. Every time a negative thought came into my head, or a self pity thought, or a thought of fear ("I'm going to lose my job!!" - no sh&t Sherlock!) - I'd stop it in mid-emergency, and ask God to help me some more. As I did this, I found that I was able to smile at people, not to hate them or be obsessed with the situation I'm in. I DO know that God has a plan, and that He will work this out - but in His time, not my own - and that until then, I have to be good to myself by not being miserable.

So - I decided today was the day to go to the movies after work. I usually tell myself that I have things to do at home. My pets are waiting for me, my birds want to be talked to and taken out. The backyard birds we feed need fresh water and food. Etc. Etc. I allow this to keep me from enjoying - so I decided that was a stupid way to be. I knew that the Johnny Cash story would be inspirational to some degree - and I adored June Carter......

and it WAS as good as I anticipated. Plus I enjoyed the early "glimpses" of Elvis and Jerry Lee Lewis, as well as Waylon Jennings. The appearance of "Maybelle" - even though it wasn't REALLY her, was neat - as I would have imagined her.

When I was leaving the theater, two older women walked out with me, too. One said to me, "what a love story! I sure wish someone loved ME that way." And I realized - I DO have someone who loves me that way - someone I feel as close to and share as much with as the two heroes of the movie did. Our faith has brought us very close, as the faith of John and June brought THEM together.

I also thought of what's really important in life and how short and fleeting life really is, after all. Too short to let the problems of the present stunt me, make me feel guilty and shameful as if I've done something wrong, and too short for me to constantly feel sorry for myself.

So between the Lord, whom I prayed to all day, and the great movie, I have certainly been blessed and CHEERED!! On a day that started depressing and angry.


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